There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
