I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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