why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
