i think i have two assholes
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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