i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think I died a long time ago.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
