I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
