I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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