I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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