Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
