KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
