I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I came so hard my ears popped.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize