Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
