everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
