She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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