I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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