he shaved USA in his pubs
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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