Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize