Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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