i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize