I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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