trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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