i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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