kristin has been a bad kristin
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
