carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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