Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
