he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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