I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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