plz talk dirty to me
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize