Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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