GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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