Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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