I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
