It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
