Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
