It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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