Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize