the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
