How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
