Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
