thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
