puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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