Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
