I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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