the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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