she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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