apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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