i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
