Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
