i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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