I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
