I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
