So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
