So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize