Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
