Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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