Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
