That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
