I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Damn victory sex feels great
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize