I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize