hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
