He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
