Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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