you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
